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Ghetto Stilletto!

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

12:53PM - goodbye!!

Monday nite was awesome! but someone seriously needs to take my cell phone away from me on nites like that cuz i make the stupidest phone calls to people who i hardly speak to. but yea tuesday i went out with my mom to get some last minute stuff for the trip. got up this morning at 9:30 to go to the mall,old navy, n sally's. more last minute stuff. n now im finally ready to go! but i have recently become so easily irratated its scarying me. i've like snapped at everyone in my family for sayin one wrong thing to me. i feel kinda bad...but DONT bug me when im packing. its a very serious moment for me cuz i cant be forgettin anything. omg i really hope i havent forgotten anything....totally forgot my razor!!! shit. gotta go pak that asap. im pissed at my mom n dad right now.my moms goin on the trip with me so thats fine, but i dont wanna still be mad at my dad when i leave. dunno what im gonna do, cuz if he's still actin pissy then im not just gonna forget that im mad at him. so ive been tryna talk to ziyad for the past couple days. does shush ever work this hard to talk to a guy? NO! so tell me why it seems like he's blowing me off?! ugh! this is why i DONT call guys. wutever.i'll get over it, but i think i was liking him at the moment. my flight leaves at 7:30 (unless its canceled cuz of bad weather) but we'll be going to the airport at 3!! could we go any fucking earlier?! shit. im sure its not gonna take THAT long to chek us in. so we'll just be waisting sweet time at the airport. we have 8 people goin with me. and im only happy with 3 of the 8... my mom, myself, n leone. the others r just close family members who r gonna cause me to have massive headaches. i wont be arriving to my actual destination till around 7 pm tmorrow. that makes it 7 am friday morning in bangladesh. yes they r 12 hours ahead of us. i'll making numerous phone calls be4 i leave to say bye to all my gurlies. im gonna miss my tricks sooooo much! make sure yall dont forget to tell me bout any major events that take place when im gone. write it down if u must! LOVE YALLLL!!!!! MUUUAAAHHHH!!!!!

Current mood: sad

Monday, May 31, 2004

11:34AM - mine sucks


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Sunday, May 30, 2004

11:35AM - family day

Had a wonderful entire day with my gurls yesterday. but today is a total family day. i love em (family days) but hate em at the same time cuz they get me thinking bout serious stuff.i dont want to think seriously though cuz i just wanna be a kid! so i had to wake up at 9 this morning to go with the family on our monthly visit to my aunts graveyard. my aunt and I were hardly close...i saw her often and spoke to her and stuff but nothing was ever personal. so when she died,about 3 years ago, i kno it hurt but...i dont kno, i didnt feel like i was losing much. yet everytime i visit her grave i feel like breaking out into tears. and im not sure if its so much cuz i miss her or just cuz i think its sad that she had to lose her life at such a middle age. she was just like 50 somethin. thats about how old my dad is and i pray to god that i dont lose him anytime soon. We burried her in a Muslim Cemetary way out in Joshua Texas , bout an hour away, so the graveyard is like this huge open field...doesnt look like ur ordinary done up cemetary. anyway so my family was standin by the grave and i decided to take a walk around the field. and wow...just being byurself with pretty much nothing but open land around u really gets u thinkin. i dont kno if yall kno what im talkin bout but so many thoughts were just goin through my head at that time. especially cuz of the area i was in, it totally got me thinkin bout death and how short life is or can be. therz so much i want to accomplish and who knows how much time i actually have to do it all. and the lazy ass that i am is always tellin myself " o well i'll read up on this subject some other time." or "i'll start praying more often next week." yeaa...totally never get around to any of that stuff. and why do i do some of he stupid things i do? it all just seems so pointless, it seems like having fun is worthless. i have kno idea what im going through right now but i've been going through it for a while and i DONT like it! maybe i've just been extremely naiive all these days and im finally starting to see thing for what they really are. but if thats the case then i'd much rather be a naiive little girl for the rest of my life. i think i've also been thinkin bout this crap alot more cuz we're approaching our senior year and we'r commin closer n closer to the end of this huge era, and that absolutely terrifies me. n i sooo dont want to be thinkin this way cuz i wanna be able to enjoy my senior year to the max and live it up. but i had a little too much fun junior year n yea... we saw what that did to my grades. SO i guess im gonna have to be this extremely dorky senior who never gets to have any fun! ...well im leavin in like 3days so hopefully this "vacation" will get all this crap off my mind for a while. but i WILL be studying for my SAT'S on the plane. wont that be a blast? totally my idea though so i cant complain bout it.

Current mood: thoughtful

Saturday, May 22, 2004


Went with the tricks tonite to see mean girls. LOVED it!! that movie is sooo us its not even funny! looking in the mirror and critiquing ourselves when we'r all together...talking useless shit bout other gurls...its crazy. its so FECH! and damn , aaron samuels is FINE! but yea we ate at campo verde n saw Anna. shared some giggles. good times. i did not enjoy the food but the environment was nice. got to the mall n attempted at shopping but didnt really have time for it. we need to go buy summer dresses for our expensive trick date next weekend. after the movie we went to masseys for like 20 minutes for a smirnoff n a newport. then rushed home n here i am. tina only had like 7 minutes to get home n im wondering how that went. Naz was suppose to 3 way me tnite with leone but has yet to do that. :( . saw some jeans i really liked at gadzooks but they were $60! cant put that much on my creadit card without asking my daddy so i just put them on hold. so tmorrow i get to go shopping with my mother and my daddys money! hoping that works out n he doesnt just give me a $20. cuz HELLO father...u cant buy shit for that much! he's sending me away for more than a month so im thinkin he owes me a shopping spree. Jessie called n wants me to sneak out so i told her to call me later. not really feelin up to it. im actually kinda sleepy right now seein how i woke up @ 9 for a damn chicken bisquit n didnt go bak to sleep. um Baby Boi you need to buy ur baby gurl a promise ring. i dont care if she agrees or not... i just think u need to buy her one! i can help u pik one out if ud like! therz this one at gordons jewelers...its gorgeous! omg brina u really need to plan something for next weekend. its my last weekend here gurls so i MUST have fun! i have and indian party friday nite though. so saturday! omg WHY AM I SO SLEEPY! yea definately not gonna go out tnite cuz im done! gnite! "love u!bye!*muah,muah*!"

Current mood: dorky

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

4:37PM - BITCH

HAHAH soooo the fight at lunch today (one of the many) but definately the best fight. So 2 of the 3 gurls that jumped me fought eachother! hahah! sucks for them. Rianen got her ASS WHOOPED by Ashley. unfortunately i missed the fight but i would have LOVED to have been right ther laughin at them. even though its "squashed" im never gonna like that ass ugly piece of white trash. but damnnn i ashley can throw a punch like no other. she's the only one im actually afraid of, but naw rianan is just a pussy. lol can't wait to tell shahla bout it! oh yea so rimi... havin trouble with her "TEMP" friends. shahla told me that rimi called her n diana n them bitches b/c they didnt go to sonic for lunch like they were suppose to. i was just like shahla she's not gonna stay mad at yall, cuz if she doesnt talk to yall then she wont have anyone to hang out with. so just as i expected rimi was talkin to the tricks after school today for the first time in like 2days . yeeaa so obviously she's still not talkin to shahla. i'll give it til the rest of tnite, then she's gonna realize that she has to talk to her n then the TEMP friends are her tight friends again. oohhh gosh the stupidity of some people just amazes me.how can she be so naiive to actually think any of those gurls will ever be ther for her when she really needs them. but wutever! i've got my tricks n im more than content with that! but PLEASE will one of yall slap me the next time i take her bak. dont make me be a bitch to her but i want it to be clear to her and everyone else that from here on out we'r friends but ther is sill a wall between us. took a chemistry test today...bombed it. im real interested to see my GPA. :(! gonna bust my ass next year to bring it up. so came home from school as soon as i could tday just cuz my mom is off. i get home n we go pik up lamiya. then my moms like well we'r goin to sam moon with my friends. im like wtf! she's always draggin my places with her friends. i usually dont mind it but i'm not gonna do it every fuckin week. plus we'r leavin in like 2 1/2 weeks n i still have shit load of stuff to by, none of which can be found at sam moon. n she's like " well we'll have the whole week after u get outta school to run those errands." YEA RIGHT! im not running errands during the week of summer i have here. i'm hardly gonna get to hang out with my gurls between being in carrolton, packing, indian parties n all the other crap, so WHY procrastinate on the stuff that COULD be taken care of now?!?! im sooo telling my dad on her! i need to go into school early tmorrow n take an algebra quiz. so yea tina... no need to pik me up! i'll prollie have to call u n tell u. my nails r chipping like no other! ah! so exams im probably just gona have to take 1,7,n 8. i missed 6th 7th n 8th on420 but my 6th period teacher didnt mark me ABS cuz he's a pimp like that, got marked in 7th, n 8th didnt matter cuz id have to take that exam reguardless. So ya i went n talkd to my attendance lady today n was like "i went home sick after 5th n mom my called in" n she looked in the call in file from 420 n obviously my mom didnt call in. but i stuck to my story n i think he bought it but my mom has to call in "again" if i want my 7th period exemption. n im debating weather its worth all that cuz its just interior design. anyway i'll see what my mom says. im out.

Current mood: grateful

Monday, May 17, 2004

10:56PM - cant sleep

hey! so i only got 4 hours sleep last nite cuz i just wasnt sleepy after the weekend. therefore i put myself to bed at 9:30 tnite and fell asleep at about 9:40. then i woke up at 10:15 n could NOT go bak to sleep. I NEED SLEEP!! WHY WONT IT COME?!?! so here i am listenin to delila n writin in my journal.Talked to jessie today. she's in town for a month! im so excited!! she is such a good friend... weather i get to see her often or not, even from a distance she totally understands what im goin through. wow my split ends r getin to be real noticeable. so im dying my hair black this weekend. i didnt wanna do it be4 school got out but im gonna have to for my hairs health. cuz if i want to get it highlighted on the 27th then i need to dye it about a week be4 that so it has time to breathe. im gonna look odd with black hair but o well! had to take my passport pic at walgreens today n ofcourse i run into megan the man hasty while im up ther. but quickly left n got bak in the car until i thought she was gone. i was NOT about to take my picture infront of her. Awww tina that song on KVIL by the guy with the pretty voice is on... "You raise me up so i can stand on mountains, you raise me up to walk on stormy seas, i am strong when i am on ur shoulders, u raise me up to more than i can be!" idunno if u kno what im talkin bout but i do believe youve enjoyed that song in previous late nites. gosh i love delila, she almost makes me forget that im pissed cuz i cant sleep. "por la mano adentro, por la mano afuera, por la mano aduentro ...lalalala donde quiera, haz el hoke poke y volte a te, y eso es!" thats the hokey pokey in espanol n its been in my head the entire evening! got dragged to masseys with tina afterschool. well no i wasnt dragged , i just volunteered since im a good friend ,n some1 else bailed on her *ahem*! but yea sheena is outta ther thank god! n massey is definately a cutie...tina u better work on this one. i mean brina... brina u need to work on this one FOR tina. k delila plays way too man commercials. its so wierd... i get sleepy when im at the computer but when i get in bed i CANT FUCKING SLEEP! im out.

Current mood: sleepy

Sunday, May 16, 2004

7:45PM - olive garden

so my indian party last nite was not too bad. mahnaz mahrin n leone were all ther. it was like we were reunited since we havent been all together at once in such a long ass time. i love those gurls so much...therz just like no frontin' wen we'r together n never any drama. but sometimes i cant handle the maturity level. yea...didnt get home till about 2am. called rimi to see what was up with amandas party. she went but i didnt end up goin. Leone spent the nite also so we watched NBA highlights for about an hour then passed out at 3. Faisal called at 5! dont even remember what was said i was so tired. i'm gonna have to talk to katy tomorrow in photography bout ther situation. that should be fun though. i'll start off with "so how was prom???" then i'll be like "hey what ever happend with u and faisal ... didnt yall use to date?" ... yea then we'll see what happens from ther. k anyway. woke up at 11 this morning n conversated with the family for a while. then me n leone got all dressed up for no particular destination. ended up at olive garden with my mommy n leone. had this FINE ass waiter named DIEGO! he was like italian or somethin... beautiful tan, gorgeous skin, dark hair n eyes. he coulda been a model. one problemo though... the hair was NOT workin. it was like... crazy femini ne like hair. it was short but styled like a womans. o well, i enjoyed him anyway! but we only tipped him 4.91! my moms cheap ass! he deserved a 20! :)!! then we drove all the way out to BFE cuz my mom heard of this place called Big T plaza through one of her Dillards gurls. n YEA Big T plaza is this GHETTO ASS shopping center with like prostitutes and large black men ,in ther old caddis hangin around the corner! so we get ther n we'r like " OMG LOCK THE DOORS!" my mommy thought that if we got outta the car one of the "black men with the big lockets are going to steal my car!" haha Ma ther called chains. n yea so we left immediately. went to willow bend. then dropped leone home n now im at home! i hate text messagin people n not gettin a reply! i dont have free TM so fuckin reply!! so ive decided that im gonna find myself an indian boy. totally easier said than done! but i could so freely talk to my mom bout a guy if he was indian so thats what im gonna do. im gonna look past the numerous flaws that im so good at finding and just SETTLE! im gonna SETTLE for whatever is available! ... u should NEVER SETTLE! but thats what i am going to do. Mahnaz is doin it...its my turn. o gosh! k im out.

Current mood: depressed

Saturday, May 15, 2004

4:07PM - indian parties :(

These indian parties or freakin takin over my weekends!! had one last nite, another tnite! ugh! i've been very positive bout them though...not complainin or coppin an attitude with my parents. :) good shush! atleast my "desi Masalaz" are attending the same parties. last nite it was just leone but she arrived rather late cuz of her "8th grade walk". aww my lil girl is gonna be in highschool! Got to talk to Trisha last nite too. she's a cool kid, kinda regret not havin better relations with her earlier cuz it seems like we'd have alot in common.but now she's goin to UT in a couple weeks, which is so incredibly awesome! but yea. gonna try to get home from tnites party by 12 so that i can give my rents n hour to go to bed then im outta here! devon calls today talkin bout how everyones givin 5 dollars for tnite n im like well...im not too sure im goin so therz no way im payin 5 dollars be4 i get ther. so i have him call rimi. haha rimiz not gonna pick up when he calls. painted my nails orange today but i remember when i had my nails Hot pink devon thought they were orange. so now that ther actually orange they kinda look hot pink to me, its like my eyes are decieving me n im hating it. the hottness of the orange almost hurts. my moms off tmorrow so hopefully dont wake up too late n we can get an early start n go shopping. i have so much shit to buy be4 i leave on the 2nd.n ive gotta get my hair and nails done. im goin for the jennifer aniston hair cut, but im gonna dye my hair a real dark brown (pretty much black) n get medium brown highlights...stayin semi natural. n when i get my mani n pedi im just gonna have them do a french rather than get tips put on or anything. havent heard from the tricks yet this weekend but maybe we'll hangout tnite. who knows! so apparantly i have to wear black n silver tnite?! i'll have to see what i can conjure up. u kno i need to have a convo with my bro bout him buyin us alcohol every now n then. i wonder if he'd do it. cuz its not like he never drank wen he was under age. n BRANDI is a whole 1 and 1/2 years older than me n im certain that he supplies her.

Current mood: hungry

Friday, May 14, 2004

4:00PM - KOBE!

I'M IN LOVE WITH KOBE BRYANT!! this is not new news but every once in a while the love reaches a ridiculously high peak. OMG SO SEXY! so who saw the game last nite?! i know tina did!! haha u liked that didnt ya! HAHAHA! MWHAHAH!! WOW the lakers r fucking awesome!! .4 seconds!! POINT 4! not even 4 but POINT 4!!! woooo!DEREK FISHER!! wow! what a game!! gotta give the spurrs ther props though...duncan and parker r extremely good. for somereason i feel like i've already said this in a previous entree. owell! i still believe it! "one lucky shot deserves another" man i love that shaq...he's so laid bak. bruised the bottom of my foot in the process of screaming my ass off n jumpin around during the last 5 seconds of the game... i need to start putting my heels in the closet n not leaving them layin around my room. yea so therz this guy in my 2nd period that looks so much like kobe... n he's not even like terribly ghetto, he's like clean cut ghetto, u can tell he's got cash. totally wanna holla, n so believe i can get him, not to sound concieted or anything. but his ex-girl, who i think he still has a thing with , is so not even cute. but we've only got a week of school so im not gonna pursue this...as if i would have anyway! haha how lame would that be if i got with him just cuz he looks like kobe! haha! "its not u , it's ur resemblance of kobe!" lol. K enough about kobe! so i slept REEEAALL well last nite. slept straight through my alarm clock n dont even remember turning it off. didnt getup til 7:20 wen tina called me from outside my house waitin for me to come out. so i just had my mom drop me off n didnt get to class til the 2 minute bell. got ready in 10 minutes. shush needs and hour!! awards assemly was extremely boring. classes were enjoyably short.lunch was normal. afterschool is what im experiencing right now. n yea! that was my day/last nite.

Current mood: anxious

Wednesday, May 12, 2004


Omg guyz i got 3 comments on my last entree!! I LOVE U TINA BRINA N FAISAL!!! :)! comments r so much fun! so yea i just got home from the mall w/ my mom , farbeen n her mom n sis. got farbeen a bday gift from limited too...11 years old tomorrow. gosh that kid grew up so fast. it seems like just yesterday she was in diapers n i was carrying her... i guess i used to be pretty young too. but yea so i went to hollister n abercrombie n i cant find any white capris or jeans in 0's!!! im in desperate need for em be4 i go to london. so yesterday was my moms bday n we'r celebrating it tnite. goin out to eat but no clue wher. omg i missed american idol tnite!!!!!!!! i always 4get about the result shows!! TINA!?!? so the One tree Hill season finale was last nite...wow how hott r the guys on that show! and the gurls r pretty fine themselves... fine enough for me to envy not fall for. o gosh get off that topic! I LOVE KOBE BRYANT!!! 42 points even after waking up at 4:30 AND putting in his NOT GUILTY plee in court AND not gettin to warm up be4 the game. HELL FUCKIN YEA! i dunno bout tmorrows game though...the spurrs r pretty unbelievably good. we'll see! so we had lunch at brinas today, which was a change for the tricks. but it was muy fun. Mikes hard CRANBERRY lemonade! make u wanna gag when u get to he bottom of the bottle... so definately gonna get some of that this weekend also. we should do the whole drinkin thing at lunch more often. wake us up a lil bit.so if its cranberry flavored why do they still say lemonade at the end of it? shouldnt it be craberryade? or do they still have lemons in it? i dunno! gotta go eat! I LOVE MY TRICKS! just thought i should let yall kno!

Current mood: cheerful

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

4:24PM - smarty

omg i feel so incredibly smart right now...I set up a stereo naz's dad got us ALL ON MY OWN! wooo! yea not really that great, but i dont usually do shit like that. and to add to that i ALSO made a 66 on my chemistry test!! hell yea got outta the 40's! god i hate that class. every other class that ive fucked up in this year i atleast know that if i actually tried i could pull an A in ther. but chemistry is gonna kik my ass no matter what. so totally gonna plan on taking that next year. but then i cant graduate on the recomended plan! i dont kno what im gonna do! gonna have to study for that final i guess. so supposedly ther r gonna be hella parties this weekend. obviously cuz of prom. so hopefully we'll have some fun. the tricks better get ther all nighter privledges on saturday. i miss faisals parties! brina hypnotic is a must this weekend! yeeaa i'm so sayin this like im actually gonna be able to do shit...i have indian parties both nites again. AHH!!!!! we'll see what we can do. i wanna see mean gurls!!!!!!!ugh! 3 weekends left til i go outta town. n after this weekend im free! k im out!

Current mood: accomplished

Sunday, May 9, 2004

9:40PM - change

this was the first weekend in a long time that i didnt absolutely a thing with my gurls. hardly even spoke with anyone on the phone cept for rimi. i didnt even miss it too much either... like i just hung out with my mom during the days n had indian partys at nite. so i was kinda too busy to think about the fun i could be havin with my friends. i had a good time though with the rents, i feel real good n innocent right now. like usually wen i out i have o lie about the littlest things cuz my parents most likely wouldnt approve of what we'r really doing. n ive lied so much in the past year that ive gotten to really hating it. i think i especially hate it cuz ive gotten caught so much recently. omg i get all nervous just thinkin about lying. rimi was tellin me how Mike Jones is commin this weekend n Aja knows him personally through some connection so she wants to take us to go "meet" him after the show.(who knows how fareal that is) but even if its true i told her that i didnt wanna go cuz i kno id have to make up a lie for my dad. i dont kno whats wrong with me! maybe im just in a mood at the moment but i feel like completely gaining my innosence bak. cuz really whats the point? i'm not gonna be into half this stuff by the time im out of highschool so whats the point in risking gettin in trouble for stuff. well... ur suppose to have fun while ur young. gosh i hate being able to look at things from 2 perspectives. i just feel like isolating myself from everything but family. things just seem so much happier that way. no drama or fear or anything. ther always ther for u reguardless of what uve done n... wow im such a dork. no i mean everything ive said but ive only ever thought it in my head n this is just too wierd. omg i cant wait to get out of highschool!

Current mood: contemplative

Thursday, May 6, 2004

5:36PM - red eyes?

K so i dunno how many people suggested that i was high today cuz supposedly my eyes were red. Its called allergies guyz!! they wernt even that red. I'm on day 2!! it seems like not even a big deal i dont think i need them. i can live without. i just get in the mood when im with my newport gurls but i'll have to refrain from now on. went to lunch with amandas crew today cuz rimi wanted me to. we were suppose to go to shahlas n have lasagna(Sp) but ended up at wendys for some reason. felt real awkward though cuz the tricks were ther. n i couldnt just not eat with my gurls cuz ther my gurls n if ther in the same room as me i'm GONNA sit with them! but then i got ther with rimz n amanda so i also felt like i HAD to eat with them. did both n it worked out well... no one seemed to mind either way so it was just a personal conflict with myself.been kinda upset with anna n shelly recently just cuz of stupid shit. i kno very well that i get mad at the dumbest things sometimes. but i also kno that i let so many things fly n i let everyone step all over me... thats not gonna change , thats just how i am. so if i get mad at something small its just cuz that small thing is piled on top of everthing else that gets on my nerves. (just thought id explain that) i dont like being mad at my friends, that hurts me more than anything. but god dang i've got some shady friends, immature at that. i could vent out a whole paragraph here but i choose not to cuz i kno once this mood im in passes , i'll regret it. but fuckin...(haha so stole that from brinas boy) Final episode of friends is tnite!! i've been watchin that show since 3rd grade!! used to watch it religiously but started to lose my faith even though ive always been a huge fan. oh the sadness! k i didnt even really wanna write in here so im gona go now!

Current mood: bitchy

Tuesday, May 4, 2004

10:09PM - illness

hey guys. tell me why i'm catchin a cold when therz such beautiful weather outside!? ugh! i woke up @ 6:50am today n looked hideous. my wisdom teeth r commin in so i seems to me that one of my cheek r swollen. school went by pretty smooth. god i cant wait to get out of highschool. teen came over after school to vent about her father. i walked her out n thought i locked he door wen i came in. but wen i was in the laundry room i heard like a door shuting in the house so i go to the front door n it was unlocked. so i musta not locked it but wow how freaky! so i'm thinkin somones in the house. this was at 4. so i call Mahnaz n was whispering on the phone with her while stitting on my bed. i was so fucking scared. n i kept hearing more noises. but i didnt leave my room once. so i took a long ass nap til 7:30 n didnt leave my room once til 9 oclock wen my dad came home. thats just my luck too that it took someone that long to get home tnite. on any other day someones usually home. but yea. so some idiot left a horrible comment in reply to my survey. n yea i deleted it cuz it was totally unnecessary. holy shit my dad is a bitch. so i have a savings account right? n itake money out of it when I want cuz its MY savings. MY money! so how the hell is he gonna get mad at me for takin money out. he somehow found the bank statement i got in the mail today that i had put in my room. so he obviously went in my room. n yea he got mad at me.so then he's like wel im gonna go put a lock on ur account so the next time u try n take anything out they wont let u. ummm seeing how im 17 n im NOT exactly a kid anymore. wtf! i hope they wont actually let him do that cuz thats way fucked up. i can not wait til i get bak from my vacation so i can get another job. i can already tell that wen im 18 therz gonna be some drama in the household cuz im gonna want some freedom n ther still not gonna be ready to give it to me. 7 months uh-oh!

Current mood: sick

Monday, May 3, 2004

6:35PM - Hot pink!

Hola mis amigos! que tal? k lemme tell u bout last nite . Not too exciting really. brina cancelled on me as i assumed she would but thats fine. so me n tina went to westons then rode in peppermint to wendys. Aja n rimz picked me up from her then we met shala n amanda at cowboys @ 10. stayed for an hour, didnt even dance but got to watch sergio be all up on his X. ya so not fun. drill team was ther ( amber chelsea n katy) well those r the important ones. n a buncha sophmores were ther. i totally realize that u should retire from the cowboys scene once u hit like 16. but as long as alam n his crew r goin up ther, thats where i'll be...even though i dread goin. gosh those puertoricans r too fine! so came home then rimz piked me up a lil later so we could chek out devons hotel party wich totally blew so we stayed ther for all of 2 minutes went to Jack n came bak home. now for today: woke up at 11, did some laundry (still doin laundry right now), tina came by @ 1 n we went to Long john silver to get our grub on. she did, i didnt ,but whats new. then we went on our own lil personal tour of UTA since most likely we'll be ending up ther. we also cheked out some apartments near by the campus wher Tina, Brina, n i could stay. saw some lovely ones that we'r gonna get brina to research on. then did a lil pointless driving, went to claires. Met up with weston at 3ish so he could wash Glycerine,even though she wasnt even dirty!! Glyce looked so cute in her lil foam bath!! came bak to my casa n chilled on the lawn for a while. i did a wonderful job paintin tinas nails while weston got rid of Glyce's tail.or i think thats what he did. omg today was the prettiest day ever. picnic weather! even though ther was more of a breeze for picnic weather bak in Marchish time. but wuteva! ive decided im gonna trust sun screen this year n not let that damn sun keep me from havin my fun.even though i would really love not to get too dark this summer. so anna n tina solved ther problems i believe. or atleast anna is sayin that its solved. god knows! this 2 facededness needs to be so last week though cuz this week is all about happiness! got that tricks?! Friday is gonna be fun! as long as everything goes as planned. less than a week of school!!!! im freakin out! so awesome! but im soooo stressed about passing chemistry n algebra. im such a dumbass for fuckin the semester up this badly. usually i could have lost my exemptions,totally bombed my exams n still pass the course with like an 80. but now ive gotta bust my ass the rest of the 6 weeks n STILL do decent on my exams in order to just pass the class. AH! n im so sure i didnt get into my internship program cuz of my grades this sem. AH the stress!! havent smoked since friday! woo! that should change tmorrow though unless brina already finished MY pak. tell me y i'm sure she did?! prolie cuz she was waisted on saturday nite n didnt think twice! k im kinda hungry gotta bounce! ~shush

Current mood: cheerful

Sunday, May 2, 2004

4:36PM - gosh!

Guys maintainance is such a hassle! I just got outta the shower from shavin my legs. n i cut myself uncountable times. n i had just re-done my nails right be4 i got in so wen i get out i see that my nail polish is like peeling off!! AHH! i dont have time for this. do u kno how long it takes shush to paint her nails?! quite a while because somethin always goes wrong. yea so the nails look like crap at the moment. goin to cowboys tnite n dont have an outfit thats satisfying my mood. but everyones wearin a skirt so i have to as well. i'll prollie just go real low key n wear a tank top but totally do up the hair n makeup. i've got this. everyones at the car show right now ( everyone being the "ghettos"). i attempted to go just so i could see babybash but my fathers a... yea n he said no so i didnt argue.but besides that this whole mexican clique thing isnt entirely meeting my interest. Amanda is hella cool n Aja has always been fun. but other than that i dont really care to get to kno the others, but therz no hatin goin on. i talked to rimi too n she seems to be on the same page as me on this one but i think its just cuz she's feelin left out by them right now. but as soon as they include her im sure she'll be kissin ther asses. y? i have no clue. i mean... ther fun but she should try not to get too attached cuz somethin is bound to go wrong thats just how they r. n shala is tight cuz she's always got ur bak but really now somethin has gotta be settled with her n my tricks b/c they havent done shit to her. wich reminds me ive gotta tell tina somethin. i'll holla. actually i already did n someone didnt pik up tyson. but yea so wen they get bak from the car show we should be off the cowboys. n brina can Go!! woo-hoo. i'm so glad. i was gonna go with aja n rimz but now i get to go with my babygurl. it should be fun. n if not we'll have to find somethin else to do. Devon said they were gonna throw a hotel party tnite. wich is completely dumb cuz they always get busted. oh yea so he's hangin with amandas clique now apparently. haha no comment. gotta go dry my hurr! adios

2:34PM - Do It

Respond in a comment!!

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I lovable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
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26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

Friday, April 30, 2004

10:54PM - dumb parents

My god! tell me why my parents think that im always lying to them!?!? i mean... i guess i've done alot of things for them to not trust me anymore, but c'mon now...wen im actually pretty much tellin the truth i wish they would just fuckin believe me. so i went out with my tricks tonite...just went to the mall... nothin wild at all. then went to masseys n my dad calls n thinks im at a party or some shit. he didnt flat out say it but i knew what he was hinting towards. wutever. then i get home n am gettin the cold shoulder from both my damn parents. i even had this weekend all planned out. that id chill with the tricks friday n get home early ( the early part didnt happen) n then saturday would be totally devoted to my family (see how conciderate i am!) n then sunday COWBOYS. i dunno how thats all gonna work out now. ok so do yall wanna hear bout my day?!?! ok! well school was the norm. except oh so much drama is goin down with the tricks. it scurrs me! i mean its ok if therz hate between us and others cuz thats just expected and totally just what we do. but TRICKS do not hate on EACHOTHER! i should just lecture all of yall. wich i have been doin n then i feel like one thinks im siding with the other ( n im not by any means) so i think imonna stop doin that. i really wish we could all just get along! Michelle wants everything to be better. annas just bein how she is wen shes mad n i dont think anything i say will fix it. n brina is just her stubborn self as usual n she knows it. but wutever...it all seems to blow over anyway without anyone mediating. but anna doesnt need to give tina the silent treatment. talk it out gurls. so that closes up the trick drama. now rimi n elayna. so elayna... yea she's pretty damn scary. but my knees didnt shake wen i was talkin bak to her!(thats a first)but rimi needs to grow up n atleast tell her that the whole thing is squashed now. i mean shit just cuz u kill a situation doesnt mean u gotta be friends. o wait bak to the trick drama... brina... I AM A GOOD FRIEND! i was stupid, i admit it, but i appoligized... i DONT like doing that. if i was any sort of an untrue friend then i wouldnt have cared if we were friends or not. im gonna fuckin here bout this for the rest of my life. n we'll always have the EXACT same discussion. im sure ur goin off in that confident lil head of urs right now. but anyway. me n rimi got some sort of a work out today ...yeeeaa ran for all of 2 minutes then walked our asses to subway, atleast it wasnt junk food. then got locked outta my house but it was ok cuz her mom was infront of my house to pik us up. got shellys prom dress for $15 dollars from the dilliards outlet but it was muy bonito! she's gonna look like one fine ass frenemy.haha. stormed like crazy tnite! wernt even any traffic lights! i dont kno how glycerine made it through. she's one strong chik... gettin sexually harrassed by mojos n niggas n everything! gosh guys! i hate writing so much cuz u prollie get bored but im sure u stop reading wenever u wish. MAVS r out!! but that stoiachavitch dude TOTALLY fouled Nowvitzki during that his last shot. damn the kings i say damn them!(indian accent woo!) Nash was sooo good last nite too. i feel terrible. but HEEEYY kobes still in! ah im gonna shutup now. adios!

Thursday, April 29, 2004

5:18PM - Ghetto

So i went ghetto to school today...dont think i fooled anyone though. oh well its fun n comfy. totally gonna buy more jerseys. TAKS is over with! woo-hoo! better not have to take that damn test again next year that would suck majorly! got an extra long lunch today but not as long as everyone else. thank god tina came bak to get me...so conciderate, thats y she's my sugarplum! tried the whole taco bell scene, wasnt feelin it so we went to our usualy wendys. n who did we run into? Babygurl n Babyboy! that was an enjoyable lunch no doubt. sugarplum smooshed my middle finger with the window. but i was strong n the finger is fine. thank god, or else what would i hold up? 45 minute classes r over! :( so sad man. yea so afterschool was extremely HOT n no rain! those dumb weather men. came home to find a bunch of mojos workin on our AC. so atleast our AC will be ready for the summer. no school on monday!! wich means Cowboys on sunday! woooot! gosh i hate that place. i just like gettin dressed all cute for it. so guys i currently have a 45 in algebraII! i dont kno what the hell i wrong with me. well actually i kno whats wrong but i dont kno y i dont fix it. i've excelled (or accelled?) my entire academic career but this ONE important year im just not doin shit.
i dont ever do my hw, n its not even like i have anything better to do. crazy! but yea so this 6 weeks im reallly gonna have to bust my ass. i'm so bored!! alright well im hungry so must go eat! adios.

Current mood: bouncy

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

4:51AM - cant nap!

I really need to take my after school nap but the sleep just is not comming. the math taks is over with. 70 fuckin questions. thats just ridiculous. it was pretty easy though, but i always say that bout tests then wind up doin horribly. Had Jack for lunch, i think pretty much all of lamar did too. not really, but ther were alot of people inside. So marlain is in my taks class n i think im better with her. y i was ever bad with her im not sure. but i kno it was my fault. i love rimi to death but me takin on all her enemies with her is just gay. especially wen half her enemies hadnt even done shit to her. So i'm just gonna start bein nice to everyone. ive also realized that i have alot of hate for people for no apparent reason. like... i assume somethin n go with it n just start hatin on the person. n im just now learning that my assumptions r mostly wrong. n people can give the nastiest looks unintentionally (we all do it) n thats no reason to hate them. yeeaa i say all this but tmorrow its bak to "ugh look at the bitch" bout random people. i think its just a TRiCK trait cuz all my gurl r guilty of doin this. we need therapy or somethin! but yea so anyway! missed Brina n anna at lunch today. hopefully we'll all be ther tomorrow. 40 mins of fun! talked to naz afterschool for the 1st time in a week. r schedules so dont coordinate with eachother...not sure if the was the right word... yea it was, cuz ludacris used it in a similar sentence in a rap.but yea so talked to her n ...brown boyz ... wut wut! so rimiz dream boy sergio came up to lamar today. supposedly he gave shahla his # to give to me. rimi tore it up though. Wow what justice would that serve if i were to take the guy she likes right from her... n ther not even " talkin". revenge is sweet! no i wouldnt do that cuz i actually have a heart. she also passively tried to suggest that he likes me cuz i have boobs...except that MOST gurls DO. n besides im almost positive he just gave the # to piss her off. i was just amused by the fact that she would freak out over somethin so small, n yet me freakin out bout what she did to me a couple months ago was "not even a big deal".WUTEVER! on a way happier note One Tree Hill is on tnite!! cat fight GO PAYTON, once u get on top its in the bag! n im assuming the Lakers will be playin tnite since the mavs played last nite. therefore i should be up til about 12. So the mavs havent officially lost yet but we might a well say adios to them in the playoffs. its a sad sad thing. but atleast now tina can fully root for the lakers n her #1 nigga KOBE! gosh i feel like i babble too much in here. so im gonna go try that nap again! ~shush

Current mood: aggravated

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